There and back again

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There and back again

So my last post was a bit traumatic. I wrote it, I lived it and I never want to revisit it. A few months on and I am much stronger. Life is still challenging as I am doing dialysis four times a day and sometimes its painful, sometimes its gruelling and sometimes its just over with no fuss. Fortunately there is a bit of light in sight. I am going to the overnight machine, which will give me my days back. I cannot wait, as I literally feel tethered to the house at the moment. They are also changing the fluid. Apparently it is less acidic and so will reduce the pain quite significantly, I am genuinely really excited about this new fluid.

After I started the dialysis, my body went into shock and my hb fell through the floor, because of this and because my weight was so low they decided I would not be strong enough to go through a transplant. So, 4 months ago I was suspended from the list. I was absolutely devastated about this. Transplant is my goal, my lifeline. So to be taken off was a blow, (even though I knew they were right.) Three weeks ago I thought they were going to let me back on the list. The meeting was scheduled to discuss my case and my consultant (who had to make sure I was strong enough) told me that he was sure I would be put back on. But I got the call and they told me that because I had been so poorly I still was not strong enough for the operation. So, I needed a bit of extra time and I needed to put on at least 2 kilos. I hadn’t put any weight on in 6 weeks. So for me this seemed like an impossible task. But, three weeks on and I am half a kilo away from my goal. I cannot imagine how I am going to feel when they put me back on the list. Elated springs to mind.

I have continued to work as much as I can. Shoots are still a way off. I get tired so quickly and shoots require such a continued burst of energy, which I just don’t have. I can though work on my digital backdrops on photoshop. I sold one to a photographer I really admire last week and I was chuffed to bits. I am also still doing my stock work. The two combined aren’t bringing me in a wage, but its enough to pay a few little bills and buy Darren a guinness every now and then. Plus, its kept up my skills in photoshop which would have been quickly lost had I not been regularly working in photoshop.

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Digital Backdrop, fluffy sheepskin and teddies

Above is one of my backdrops and here is the backdrop with my niece composited into the image…

 

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Digital Backdrop, fluffy sheepskin and teddies

 

The one below is one of my most popular backdrops at the moment.

 

Digital backdrop, wicker basket and white fairy lights

I really hope that my next blog is even more positive and you never know that transplant call might be just round that corner. I don’t think there will be any stopping me then. I am going to grab life and celebrate everything. I am as before so grateful to the people in my life that have got me through this time. Their support means everything to me and it will not be forgotten.

 

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